St. Peter asks the person in front of the pearly gates, "What did you do in life?" The reply - I was a physician - brought a generous smile from St. Peter who said, "Very noble profession, you are welcome in heaven. Of course, there's nothing for you to do here as we have no illness of any kind, but you are most welcome in heaven. The bar on the left goes on forever, the buffet on the right goes on to eternity, and the pink fluffy looking cloud in the middle is where God hangs out; feel free to talk to God, eat and drink as much as you like; you are welcome in heaven.
St. Peter asks the next person, "What did you do in life?" The reply - I was a lawyer - brought a disgruntled look as St. Peter rolled his eyes and said, "Well, everyone is welcome in heaven. Of course, there's nothing for you to do here as we have no crime or ill will or accidents of any kind, but you are welcome in heaven. The bar on the left goes on forever, the buffet on the right goes on to eternity, and the pink fluffy looking cloud in the middle is where God hangs out; feel free to talk to God, eat and drink as much as you like; you are welcome in heaven.
St. Peter asks the next person, "What did you do in life?" The reply - I was a keyboard player - brought an excited response of delight as St. Peter excitedly said, "You're going to love it here! The jam sessions go on forever! And you can play with Elvis or Ray Charles or Hank Williams.
Duke Ellington writes a new piece for the band every day. There's plenty of solo space, no weird keys, nothing out of tune, no bad notes, no bad changes, and the time is always rock solid - you're going to love it here! You didn't park out front, did you? Stay away from the bar and the buffet table - and don't try to talk to God - he's busy. Could you come in through the loading dock? And do you have a sound system we could use during breaks?"

DonM (Thanks to Dale Weaver).

Well, some things will never change, I'm afraid...

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Greetings from Frankfurt (Germany),
Sheriff ;-)

...through the loading dock, then through the kitchen ... ...
t.

Ya mean even if I make it, things won't change!?!

DON...ROTFLMFWO.......Good stuff....
Tony Rome

I ALWAYS crackup when I see that Spinal Tap scene where the band gets lost walking through the kitchen trying to find their their way to the stage. It never loses it's appeal for me.

I did (the operative word here being "did")...a number of gigs at a particular Armed Forces Officer's club. Very similar scenario. Offload at the loading dock onto dollys, Onto the frieght elevator,
Up one level, Offload from the elevator, Thru the kitchen, Thru a storage facility, Onto a second frieght elevator, Down 2 levels(Club is on the Ocean's edge), Off the elevator, Move tables & chairs(because they don't want the rubber wheeled dollys on their buffed dance floor, Offload from the dollys and carry gear to stage(again, can't get the dollys to the edge of the stage 'cos of the dance floor), Move the tables & chairs back into place.
Then do it all in reverse at the end of the night.
Needless to say...I don't do this gig anymore, and I don't miss it...

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...shboom